sometimes, just the act of sharing a painful secret can relieve some of the pain.

...

i picked up a book today.

it's called postsecret.

the basic premise of the book is this: the author (frank warren) decided to start an art piece project by randomly leaving and mailing empty postcards to anonymous people...the postcard asks the person to mail in a creative card, revealing that person's deepest and darkest secrets...may it be humiliation, painful admissions, confessions, fears, desires, regrets...anything that person wants to reveal but just don't have the guts to tell an actual person...they were then mailed to the author...and the project has now blossomed into a website/blog, a book, and large worldwide following.

i was deeply fascinated with the book when i first discovered it in the shelf.

i could relate to so many of the postcards.

not a lot of people know what i truly feel about things.

it's normally a select few people, who i trust with my whole heart, who know the thoughts that run through my little head.

but when i do trust that person, i tend to be honest...BRUTALLY HONEST...especially about my own faults and fears.

i come from a family that isn't really affectionate or open...there are a lot of things my parents don't know about me, because when i do tell them, they just scoff it off and move on.

as a teen i often retreated to myself...because i thought...I KNEW...that no one would give a shit what i felt.

it wasn't until i found people...my confidantes...that actually cared what i felt, that i began to be a bit more open to sharing what i felt.

telling them these things made me more and more comfortable in my own skin...i think the fact that i had these select group of people to confide to helped me deal with things that normally i would just push inside of me, never to be revealed.

i'm pretty much an open book now...my friends know more about me than probably my family does...but my friends are the ones i feel comfortable talking to about these things...i can't help it.

i've probably also revealed more about my vulnerabilities here on my blog or on myspace...because it's slightly anonymous in cyberspace...less judgements can be seen or heard.

knowing that someone will actually listen to my ramblings, and know EXACTLY how it feels like, makes me want to be more honest about myself.

but there are still a lot of things you don't know about me.

we all have our little secrets.

it's just a matter of time before someone finds out.

maybe on that day, you will find yourself too.

i'm still finding myself anyways.

...

on a much lighter note, i was able to contact the conservative party candidate in my riding...their rep said that they're not sure yet where they will be during election night...so i have to contact them next week to confirm...man, this should be one interesting night for me...i wish we could team up with another journalism student...i'd love to have kyle or patricia or ANYONE to come with me...but how else would i learn?...maybe i'm more scared of whether i'd get a ride home or not...haha.

also, i FINALLY checked out the picasso exhibit at the vancouver art gallery...truly exquisite...they were mostly etchings, but they were still pretty cool, i must say...here's to hoping that i'll be able to go to europe to see that more famous works...it's the appreciator of art in me.

and i was THIS CLOSE to buying a warhol lamp...or a barbara kruger umbrella.

money conservation is much more important.

haha.

...

and ma soeur got a 30GB video iPod.

*droolage*

i want it SOOO bad.

sometimes i can't be satisfied, no?

anyways, i think i'll start the reading for my feature writing class...and maybe play around with my blogpage's look.

i've added a new comment link at the bottom of the page, please leave your thoughts right there.

otherwise, a bientot to you all.

(i've been inserting a lot of french in my writings lately...please consult your friendly french-english dictionary for more information... :P)

till...monday?

yeah.

...peace out...